Oh good grief, the house is a muck and it seems it’s been this way forever. You heard hiring a cleaning company can free you, alleviate you from their untidy binds. But it’s a process before you first hire a cleaning business and begin to revel in the gloriousness of your home’s pizazz, a seven stage process if you will.

1. Denial
There is absolutely nothing wrong with your house; everything is exactly where it should be. Honestly people are fools for not decorating their dining room table with a smattering of unidentifiable documents. That’s just funky new avant-garde art installation in your room tilted ‘Pile of clothes’. Plus, you once heard that a pile of shoes near the front door was really excellent Feng Shui. There really is no need to be concerned at all.
2. Guilt
OHH what are you talking about, of course this isn’t acceptable you’re an adult, an adult who has a rotisserie of two teacups as staple of your bedroom. An adult who’s had the same jumper on the floor of your room for three weeks because it fell of your chair and you just haven’t had the energy to pick it up. An adult who only has a vague conception of what a mop looks like. The shame, the shame… If your home was child, special services would take it from you.

3. Anger and Bargaining
“Damn me and my apathy to cleaning my house, you’ve plagued me again self”, you scream to the gods of soap and detergent! Curse you and your inability to keep the bathroom sink from looking pretty gross all the time. You tell yourself that half day of cleaning 6 months ago means it’s okay you have an identified puddle of liquid on the floor of the kitchen. You’ll do anything, ANYTHING to makes this house clean; except cleaning consistently at least once a fortnight. ANYTHING!

4. Depression, Reflection
Is this your life now, is this who you are? Doomed to live like this forever, no-one will ever come to my house again. Surely you’ll scare them off if they do. You have vigor and drive in other parts of your life, why not this one? Like that time you ran half a half marathon. Why don’t you care enough about kitchen counter to keep it clean? Why are you like this? And worse, why are your roommates like this too?

5. The turn towards the light
You visit a friend to be consoled and question how they have such a clean house, it’s crazy, even the shower is sparkling, but how? A cleaning company comes in every two weeks they tell you. What, a group of people that maintain a high standard of living in your home? Is this a dream?

6. Reconstruction
Coming home has a new flavour and that flavour is amazing. You’re clothes are washed; the bathroom no longer smells a little bit weird and every counter is whiter than you’ve ever seen. Even you’re dust related hay fever is gone. There’s a new emerging you and it couldn’t be better. People are clamouring to come to your house for company, it’s clean, plus you radiate sunshine so who doesn’t want to bask in your new found glow.

7. Hope
There’s a certain brightness to your house now, a really buzz. Your roommates and you are closer than ever, no longer do you guiltily avert your eyes when you’re in the kitchen, avoiding the sink’s plate filled gaze. No longer do you have a friend free house, out of fear of embarrassment. No longer must you feel unclean. Your house is a new house and you’re a new you.